Ten Dollars an Hour

So I'm at work, Again... I shouldn't complain I almost never work, I don't really like to. But the money. So there I am and what I have to do (my mission you could say, but please, don't say that) is that I need to go down into this basement. Well, more like a foundation for a building that burned down tragically before its time. Its big. Its cluttered, dusty, very dark and there are bugs and spider-webs EV-REE-WHERE. What I've been assigned to do is to open all these little windows that are maybe eight or ten feet off the ground. They need to be opened because this place is not sealed up real tight and its not waterproof and so it gets real wet down in there. It needs this ventilation. Maybe twelve windows. Now, I'm not even close to being eight to ten feet tall but the height thing isn't too much of an issue because there's like old machines and boxes and random metal things to stand on literally all over the place. And I mean literally!
And I'm going about this work and I'm balancing on things (which I'm decent at if you ask me) and I'm opening these little windows. There are tons of old spider-webs on these things that I'm brushing and clearing away with my hands. I guess that those old webs should have given me some clue. I should have probably put it together that there would be live! spiders there too! But hindsight is worth twenty bucks, right?
I can't really explain what happened next. Some of you may say I got careless. I'll try to explain. As I was opening a particularly stubborn little window there was a faint sort of popping noise and then the feeling of the creepy-crawlies all over my hand, then my arm, now its around my neck, on my back, chest, face, legs, and head. In my hair. It moved real fast and I couldn't tell with the darkness just what might be going on. I just didn't know. I felt sort of a lot of burning sensations and then itchiness and I started to get out of there as quick as I could even if I hadn't opened All of the little windows. Fuck the windows for now is what I was thinking. And I'd soon find out that was the proper position to take on that matter.
So I get outside and I'm sorta flailing around violently and scratching like mad when I notice that there are little creatures afoot crawling ever so quickly all! over my body. My whole body!! The funny thing I realize now about baby spiders is that you can see right through their undeveloped exoskeletons. But that wasn't important to me at the time. I could feel them crawling in my ears one went and crawled around my eye and maybe into my eye (I still don't know) and more than a couple went straight for the nostrils, which I still don't understand. There must have been hundreds. I ran to the other side of the house very quickly. And I sprayed myself all over with a hose. And I think I killed most of them but I've been feeling paranoid about it ever since and I'm still really itchy everywhere. I don't think I got all the ones that were going in my ears because when I blow my nose I can still see ones come out that are moving a little and if they can live in my nose then they can probably live in my ears I think. I know there must still be some in my hair because I've been finding little bits of webs in my hair since around 4:30.
I worry about whether or not the ones that went in my ears could make it to my brain. I don't think they could but I'm not sure as nothing like this has really ever happened to me before today, besides the time I was running through the woods naked and I stepped on an extremely large ant-hill, but the ants never made it up to my head. Because I was naked I was able to brush them off pretty easy without destroying too many. But I'm probably just worrying too much about it, and besides what could they do in there anyway? There's no air so they can't breathe I don't think.
So then finally I get home, and this is the funny part. I tell my Dad the story and the first thing he says is," ...And all this for ten dollars an hour". Without even missing a beat. He is so clever in some random situations. But then he never really ceases to amaze me.